Hello Daily Telegraph readers. Thank you for finding this podcast - it is brilliant and I'm sure you'll love it.
Hello there American people who have heard about this via the SUCCOTASH comedy podcast podcast. You are very welcome and I hope you like Me1 vs Me2 Snooker. It is the national sport of England and frequently televised on the BBC. Even the Queen and Prince Charles have played it. Awesome!
If you would like to know more about the great comedy produced by me, Richard Herring, then just go to Google and search for the secret code phrase "Stewart Lee". This will tell you everything you need to know.
OK I am reluctantly putting a post on here because lots has been going on. In particular the live frame of Me1 vs Me2 snooker. Unfortunately Rich "forgot" to send me a free ticket and free flight so I couldn't be there. It sounded OK I suppose on the podcast. Also Rich did one of my magic tricks but, due to an evil member of the audience being selected, it didn't quite work properly. If only I'd been there it would have been perfect and awesome! And Rich has mentioned this site again a couple of times, even though it is now well out of date and I can't be bothered to spend any time on it these days. Oh yes, and someone has put a Wikipedia page up about Me1 vs Me2 snooker - it is basically like a rubbish copy of this website without the pictures, or jokes, or good bits, or blog, it's basically rubbish really and the Wikipedia Nazis have threatened to take it down because it "has no worth" - ha! Anyway enough woffle, go and see Rich's WAGTD tour which will be very good (even if it is constructed from old Collings and Herrin material) and remember to revisit this website every day in the vague hope that there will be a new post (hint: there won't).
Rich is doing some of these. They are usually quite good. But he hasn't announced hardly any of the guests yet. So they will probably be a bit rubbish, unfortunately. And I bet we don't get Stewart Lee this time. You may as well go along because it might be quite good, but certainly not great. If you do go don't forget to heckle a bit, Rich loves that. Especially if you heckle something snooker-related. Do it for the fans!
People are still visiting this website. Please don't. It only encourages him. We are now totally bored of Me1 vs Me2 snooker and you should be too. Richard please stop and do some good stuff instead. Thanks.
This website is run by Richard Herring superfan Mike Stoner. He is a real person and not just a creation of Rich's deranged comedy mind. Although this website obviously takes up most of his time he also works as a magician and mind-reader (like Dynamo meets Derren Brown, but better). He's really good. If you've got a party or wedding coming up and would like some brilliant entertainment then have a look at his magic website and get in touch - your guests will thank you if you do!
Why are you reading this? Didn't you see the post below? This podcast is OVER and there will be no more frames (apart from a possible live frame played in front of an audience during the Edinburgh fringe, which obviously doesn't count). Me1 vs Me2 Snooker is a failed experiment that is now thankfully at an end. You want proof? Here is an OFFICIAL transcript of a recent phone conversation we had with Rich...
Me1 vs Me2 Snooker Website - "Hello, this is the Me1 vs Me2 Snooker Website, can we speak to Mr Richard Herring please?"
Rich's Borderline Jailbait Wife - "Umm, I'm not sure. He's under a pile of cats at the moment"
MVMSW - "F*** the cats, we need to speak to him NOW"
RBJW - "OK, just wait a moment..."
<long pause full of cat noises>
RBJW - "I've got him out from under the cats but now he's eating some yoghurt. Could you ring back later?"
MVMSW - "No I'm afraid not this is urgent"
RBJW - "OK, I'll get him for you"
<lots of grumpy shouting>
Richard Herring - "Hello, who is this?"
MVMSW - "It's the Me1 vs Me2 Snooker Website"
RH - "Oh great, hi how are you? Always good to talk to a superfan. Thank you so much for running such a brilliant website. I look at it everyday and hope all of my fans do too"
MVMSW - "Thanks" <blush>
RH - "How can I help?"
MVMSW - "We were just wondering if there will be any more frames of Me1 vs Me2 Snooker? It seems to have dropped off the radar a bit and we thought you might have got bored of it."
RH - "Well that's true. I've got a lot of other things to focus on with the forthcoming tour, new baby on the way, two cats and the top secret Fist of Fun renunion TV show. So I think that the end for Me1 vs Me2 Snooker, for now at least"
MVMSW - "Thank goodness for that, so you will be concentrating on good material instead?"
RH - "Yes, it was fun while it lasted (sort of) but no-one really liked it and I'll be glad to see the back of it to be honest"
MVMSW - "OK that's brilliant news. And just before we go can you confirm or deny the rumours about Collins and Herring returning?"
RH - "That's not a rumour, it is DEFINITELY happening. Andrew and I have been in discussions and will be making a cinema film together - just the two of us talking and having a laugh, with Speilberg directing"
MVMSW - "Good stuff! Anything else?"
RH - "How about the new AIOTM?!?! The RSC are going to be putting on a recreation of some classic sketches in Stratford with Kenneth Branagh and other famous people who I can't remember at the moment. And NASA are planning to perform the Motorcycle Clothing Shop sketch. With robots. On the moon."
MVMSW - "Really?"
RH - "Yes"
MVMSW - "Really really?"
RH - "Yes. Don't you think you should put some jokes in here somewhere"
MVMSW - "NoThank you - bye"
RH - "Bye" <giggle>
Rich is now completely bored with Me1 vs Me2 snooker and who can blame him. Compare it to the genius of AIOTM (aiotm). You can't really can you? It would be like comparing Mrs Brown's Boys to Life of Brian. Only without the popular appeal and arena tour that MBB seems to be getting for no logical reason. Anyway I digress. We can reveal that there will be NO MORE frames of MvM snooker podcast EVER. Rich is going to be too busy with his upcoming tour and the new baby to worry about rubbish like this. Which means that this website will soon be worthless and a relic of historical value only. It is a sad day, but not really that sad as maybe Rich will now focus on good funny material rather than the tedious snooker stuff. IT HAS RUN ITS COURSE AND NOW IT HAS ENDED.
We are so confident that there will be NO MORE FRAMES that we will send £1000 GUARANTEED to the first person who does actually record another frame (although for legal reason Rich himself will be excluded from this competition).
You know what? Writing comedy is hard. Very hard. Most people can't do it. Most "COMEDIANS" can't do it. Have you heard the rubbish they often put out on BBC3 or RADIO 4? OK some is not bad like Cabin Pressure but most is dire. You know it's true. If only Rich had some way to get his material on air! It would be like shining gold amongst the dross. But what chance has he got? With only his talent, experience, media contacts, Avalon agency backing and at least £1000000 in the bank to help him struggle along. And his gorgeous jailbait wife. And nepotistic friendship with pretty much everyone in the comedy world. And a proven track record of brilliance. And a big posh "recently done up" house. And lots of funny jokes. And a hundred amazing things that EVERY ONE OF HIS NERDY FANS WOULD KILL TO HAVE!!!! (And his holidays in the Maldives) (And his "oh yes I'm off to buy a new car" wealth) (And his full head of hair - despite being really old) (And his cats) (And he's not all that fat these days). OK I'll stop now.
I'm having a bad day - can you tell? RICHARD HERRING FOR POPE - LOVE YOU - BYE!
Rich will be heading to Edinburgh to perform at the fringe later this year - for the 25th time! This is awesome, he is a hard-working comedy genius and should be recognised and honoured by all.
At the moment he is still pondering what show to take to Edinburgh and we can exclusively reveal some of the ideas he is currently toying with...
TALKING CLOCK - An avant garde performance piece during which Rich tells the time ("sponsored by Accurist") over and over again. Likely to be brilliant. Inspired by this quote - "Repetition is funny and also I think you'll find that repetition is funny because repetition is funny (etc etc etc)" - Stewart Lee
HITLERS MUST WASH - Well you wouldn't want a dirty one would you?
SOMEONE LIKES YODA HUT - Rich spends two hours telling us how much he likes the hut that Yoda lives in during Empire Strike Back. Because there can never be too much Star Wars deconstruction can there?
HEADMASTER'S SUN - We're running out of ideas now, can you tell?
To be honest Rich will probably just take some show he did years ago, tweak it a little bit and hope no-one notices that it's the same old material with a new lick of paint. After all that's what he's done for the last few years (ha ha - we are funny).
The things is that what we REALLY want is for him to get back together with the traitor Collings and restart the C&H podcast. We've been listening to some of the old episodes and it is UTTER GENIUS - definitely Rich's best ever work. Certainly better than Me1 vs Me2 Snooker. Even we've got bored of that now, and we run this bloody website! Scrap the snooker and bring back C&H NOW! But what if Collings won't do it I hear you ask? Well we all know that there is one thing that he loves - LOTS OFMONEY! All Rich has to do is pay him ("I paid a pound!") and he'll come crawling back FOR DEFINITE!
DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!!! Join the campaign - tweet to @Herring1967 RIGHT NOW and tell him that you DEMAND this happens! Edinburgh 2013 will see the return of the C&H podcast. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST (just like the baby thing, I know you don't believe us on that one, just wait and see...)